by Gabra Zackman
I’ve spent the week wrapping up this run of Sense and Sensibility, recording an audiobook about mindfulness and bingeing episodes of “The Voice.” I’ve also injured my foot by dancing my way through this wonderful show and ergo am “limping towards the finish line.” That said, life is full of joy, twists, turns and romance. And on that note…we return to #thecatch for the weekly “Re-Catch.”
We begin with Alice tracking the Princess as a way of hunting Christopher. We think she’s talking to her team but it soon becomes clear…she’s decided to partner with Agent Dao #iheartagentdao and this made me squeal with joy from the remote island of my living room couch. Her partner, Val, doesn’t know she’s joined forces with the FBI.
To Christopher. Telling her how to catch him. To think, he says, “more like a criminal.”
Qasim never made it home. Notably because he’s dead and being carted to Mexico in Reggie’s bowling bag. The Princess’s brother is coming to find her. She wants Christopher to help her disappear.
A NEW CASE
Military contractors. They want Alice and Val to sign an NDA. They figure they have no choice.
As it turns out, an extraordinary young woman is missing. And they don’t want to tell the police because it has to do with “Thrusight”… a new technology that can see inside anything, and could potentially be used as a weapon in the hands of the bad guys. They wonder if Gwen was abducted by terrorists. Or has she just gone to the beach for a little R and R? No one knows. Sometimes, says best friend Marie, Gwen just takes off. #beachday
MARGOT IS BALLS TO THE WALL
She wants to know why Christopher isn’t skimming off the top of the Princess’s kabillions. In the middle of a perfectly lovely chat about how to steal $ before they’re discovered, they enter their pad to find a hot chick with a gun. I call this a fun start to the weekend. Or #justanothersaturdaynight
AHA! The hot chick is “the collector”… of the money they owe. I’m a bit confused about exactly who she is, but whatever. She has very nice teeth so who cares.
Margot, ever on point, comes up with a plan… have the Princess create a charitable foundation and funnel money through it which will go, of course, to paying off the debts of our fave villains. The charity is for women in need, but with Margot at the helm it’s really a charity for women in power suits. #femaleempowerment
BACK TO THE NEW CASE
Ah, yes! Gwen was a high school geek inventor who was always a tech chick. She paired with her best friend Marie to manufacture technology for first responders. They’re thinking maybe it was a kidnapping by a rival firm.
Danny, meanwhile, still crushing on Sophie, is sent to investigate Gwen’s whereabouts with Shawn, a hot security dude with a firearm who he’s clearly jealous of. This new stud is a fine fit for this episode’s #hotasrocks…the actor is the eminently #crushable Caleb Smith.
Danny, Sophie and Shawn are on a road trip. This is a delightful trio and makes for some fun repartee. The finest part of this sequence is when Agent Shawn removes his jacket revealing several fine guns…
,,,but oh so sadly ends with the ripped up body of Gwen, or so we think, in the underbrush.
The Princess has found a women’s charity she wants to partner with, and introduces Christopher (remember he’s now called Michael Thorne) to the head of the charity, who is, you guessed it, Alice, undercover.
Particularly the cut to the commercial break. Marvelous.
A FAB PAIR
She tries to nail down Christopher. #iheartagentdao is recording everything and giving her directives. I can’t help but wish I had the privilege of having #iheartagentdao attached by earpiece. She is disenchanted by her inability to get Christopher to confess to what he did to her.
BACK TO THE OFFICE
They’ve found Gwen’s body but Sophie, ingenious ingenue that she is, has also hunted down the laptop. She’s narrowed the signal down to a small area and they all head out to find the prize.
They find the laptop in an empty house. There’s still fun banter between Danny and #hotasrocks Security Agent Shawn. But as they peel out they’re sideswiped by an SUV, and someone attempts to kill them all…. That someone turns out to be Gwen.
DAH DAH DAH!!!! (cue eerie piano music as we cut to a commercial)
WHY’D SHE DO IT?
Our heroes try to figure out the ruse. Why has Gwen faked her own death? Turns out the head of the company (Philip Thompson) is selling Thrusight to terrorists. So she decided to disappear—and take the tech with her. Does Marie, her best friend, know? She says no. [Ed. note: Wait, so who was the body in the bushes?]
THE CLAWS ARE OUT
Margot is dressed to kill—well, to solve their “collection issues.” She’s approached by their hot bounty hunter, Felicity (the #sexonastick Shivani Ghai). Well, and why not?!?! Thank you, Shonda, for some hot lesbian sex in the midst of this season, with two women who are sexy and rad but are clearly straight. I don’t know what I mean by this but that it is a bit of a fad to portray two hot women together. It’s sexy, yes. But I often wonder if a scene like this is for women? Or for men? Or just to make it seem like they’re pushing the envelope? At least this scene led to the line “I really hope I don’t have to kill you.” Bounty, indeed!
Then a deep conversation about their “benefactor”.
“Why’d you leave the family? You were next in line.”
“I was never next in line. I’m a woman.”
“Things have changed.”
Yo no se what kind of “family” this is but I’m captivated by the idea of white collar criminals buying their way out of some kind of indentured servitude. Doesn’t really make sense, but is still somewhat captivating. #alafamilia
CHRISTOPHER MAKES THE CALL
He calls Alice. “We had a deal,” he says. But lord knows, if she kept her side we’d have nothing to watch. Except a bunch of hot agents and a bunch of hot broads screwing each other.
But aha! #iheartagentdao is listening in. Without Alice’s knowledge.
They schedule a meeting. Excellent. Will she inform Agent Dao?
For the record, I think Mireille pulls this off a lot more than Peter Krause does. In her I get the back and forth tug of her love for him vs. her need to hunt him down and make him pay for what he did. I believe him less so. Ultimately, the show would be more successful if I really believed them both. (Note: there are whole message boards devoted to this particular debate).
A GLITCH IN THE CON
Oh no! The Princess’s brother, Bashir (the rather delicious Yan Feldman—“Yum” Feldman), has arrived and has refused Christopher’s position as “financial advisor,” dismissing him, taking control of the Princess, and in general acting like the misogynistic “bad guy” we’ve been waiting for. But when Christopher hunts her down, the Princess has still been preparing to give “Paige Baker” (this is Alice in disguise) the $15 million they promised. She’s apparently been listening to “Michael Thorne’s” advice and has been doing some creative accounting. I deeply wish I also had the funds to creatively account for anything. #financiallychallenged
BACK TO OUR HEROES
(Writers note: I’m positive the name of the Techie is Gwen but she’s listed on the IMDB site as “Glynn”. Perhaps I’m mishearing an entire episode. Perhaps IMDB got the name wrong. Or perhaps we live in a world in which no one knows how to articulate anymore. I went to grad school for Shakespeare but on camera I sound like a pretentious fool so perhaps we all need to mumble just to blend in. Ah for the old school traditions of knowing how to speak the speech!)
They want to catch Philip red-handed. A plot is hatched. They’ll give the laptop back to him, then bait him by making a lucrative offer to purchase the technology. Sophie can figure it all out, ‘cuz she’s radJ
But who can be the front man? In walks Alice’s new BFF, Agent Dao. The money is transferred and the door opens for Philip to walk out. But it’s not Philip. It’s Gwen’s BFF Marie! AHHHHH!!!! It’s Professor Plum in the library with the pipe!
But what will Gwen do? She’s under contract. She wants to die. She corrupted the software so no one else can have it but still… they’ll all come looking for her.
But Alice and Val have something else in mind…
HOT AS ROCKS
Back to Agent Shawn flirting with Sophie while Danny lurks nearby with a frown. Agent Shawn turns out to be quite envious of Danny’s job and gives him some props. As he walks away, Danny sighs. “Told you he was nice,” Sophie says. “He’s not just nice,” Danny replies. “He’s perfect. Even I’m kind of attracted to him.”
But Sophie’s not so into him it turns out… too many muscles. This makes Danny smile.
I, however, would be just pleased as punch to go out on a date with Agent Shawn.
BACK TO THE CON
The Princess has decided to sell off her worldly possessions to make the $15 million needed for the “charity.” She did it, she says, because she no longer needs possessions…not after having her life profoundly changed by Christopher (aka Michael Thorne). Does he have a conscience? We’ll have to see.
They’ve made a tombstone and effectively “buried” Gwen. Who is, in fact, named Gwen…clearly IMDB got it wrong. They’ve buried her, and given her a whole new life. “They’re just like us,” Alice says. “No they’re not,” Val demurs. “We’re private investigators. We have no secrets. We tell each other everything.” Except that ain’t at all true.
Danny uses the fake burial to ask Sophie out on a date. Unslick, but impressive. Unfortunately, but fortunately, Shawn’s already asked her to dinner. Rad.
THE PRINCESS DISEMBARKS
The Princess is leaving but sees Christopher one last time. She gives him a fancy diamond necklace to give “the woman he’s in love with.”
“You deserve love,” she says, clearly having fallen for him, then gets in a car and drives off. I have to say I don’t buy it…I’m having a bit of a hard time with Peter Krause’s portrayal here and I’ve liked him a lot in other things. Not sure what doesn’t work for me, but I don’t buy his charisma.
Margot approaches. She grabs the jewels. She asks about the check and he lies and says the Princess’s brother froze the account. So he does have a conscience. Aha!
Alice and Christopher meet in Grand Park. She is prepped by Agent Dao and wears a wire and a fine red pencil skirt. Agents are everywhere, following her undercover. And then she sees him. A fine shot of their eyes meeting across a crowded public space.
“I need to know why,” she says.
“It was a job,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t you. It was your firm.”
“I chose you,” he said. “Do you remember when I asked you to run away with me? I chose you.”
“I love you,” he says, presenting her with the $15 million. “Nothing else matters.”
“And as far as your firm is concerned—“ he begins, then is shushed by her.
She’s crying, and shows him the mic, perfectly positioned in her bra. “I’m sorry,” she mouths.
He turns it around then, saying, “This fantasy you have about a con man, you need to let it go. You need to let me go.” Then he mouths “thank you” before running away.
That’s a sexy moment. Perhaps the sexiest of the show so far.
Agents flood the park. Agent Dao accuses Alice of letting him go. She rips the mic out—a second bra reveal—and throws it at him, storming away. As she leaves…a big smile on her face.
Sexy end to the episode. I can’t wait for next week. #recatchmeifyoucan