With DIRTY LIES (the third installment of the Burke Brothers series) going on sale yesterday, we asked New York Times bestselling author Emma Hart to tell us about some of the best—and worst—pick-up lines. If you think these are good, you should hear the ones said by the smooth-talking, Southern-drawling, sexy Burke Brothers! 

Pick up lines.

We’ve all heard them. From the cheesy to the swoony to the ones that are just downright cringey.

When this topic was given to me, I had a huge panic because I met my husband when I was sixteen, so I don’t really have any great experience with this. (More on his ‘epic’ pick up line later.) My own personal favourites come from my ‘Other’ inbox on Facebook. The best one I’ve ever received is ‘Emma my dear, you look like red rose.’

Uh, thorny and round? Thanks.

Also in my other box, I’ve been informed that someone is a professional stripper, and that someone was wowed by me. I’m just hoping they realize that it takes me ten shots to get my profile picture and that most days, I look like the freckle factory threw up on me and haven’t even brushed my hair. But whatever.

However, I do happen to have the best reader group in the world, and with their blessing, I have some of the best and worst pick up lines right here. Sit back because some of these are hilarious.

Don’t worry, gentlemen. I’ve kept their surnames private for your dignity.

Now remember, these are one hundred percent real lines that they’ve either heard or have had said to them.

Tara said: “’You’re the second most beautiful woman here’… I was at my best friend’s wedding.” (I guess this is kind of a compliment? You’d be pretty annoyed if you were told you were prettier than the bride, right?)

Claire said: “’Do you have pet insurance? Because I’m about to destroy your p*ssy.’” (My husband enjoyed this one. I’m just waiting for him to steal it…)

Tarryn said: “My husband said this… ‘You have oughtabe lips.’ … ‘What?’ … ‘Oughtabe wrapped around my c*ck.’ I’m not sure what this says about me.” (Personally, I love this line. Props to Mr. Tarryn. Another that Mr. Hart enjoyed immensely.)

Cheryl said: “My husband heard this recently… ‘Do you want to play joiners? We can get hammered now and bang later.’” (Teeheehee.)

Ellie said: “’Do you like cowboys? ‘Cause I can take you for a ride.’” (She said she turned him down. I guess his ride was a donkey or something.)

Reading this, it occurs to me that the worst pick up lines are the best. If any guy had said any of these to me I probably would have laughed like hell and chatted for a bit… But then I do have a rather twisted sense of humor. Which is probably how my husband got away with his chat up line of… “Fit as.”

That’s right.

The first two words he ever said to me were “Fit as,” via Facebook message. I have no idea what made me reply, but it was probably because he’s hot. My sixteen year old self was kind of shallow, but two kids and five and a half years later, that line clearly worked out for him.

And yes. I still tease him about it. He’s hilariously unashamed and super proud that he got the girl.

What are the best and worst pick up lines you’ve heard? I’d love to hear. Warning—anything you say may end up in a book. 😉

DIRTY LIES is available now from Pocket Star!