We interrupt your regular scheduled programming at the behest of this rather intense woman who showed up at the XOXOAD offices. She told us we looked just like Jennifer Lawrence and then while we were trying to get the perfect selfie, she hacked our blog! Before we knew it, she was gone in a cloud of Chanel Coco, and only this letter was left behind…
Dear XOXO After Dark:
I’ve missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!
Just kidding, we’ve never met. But I feel like you look really pretty today—like, really, really pretty. And super thin. Congratulations on not gaining any Polar Vortex weight or getting any weird plastic surgery on Groupon. And if you have gained weight/gotten weird plastic surgery, congratulations on that too. It looks amazing.
You know what else is amazing? My new book, Psychos by Babe Walker. It’s a follow-up to my New York Times bestselling memoir, White Girl Problems by Babe Walker. I think you’ll love it because it’s raw and it’s honest, and mostly because it’s about me. And to help convince you how much you’ll love it, I’ve taken over your website. (Don’t worry, it’s just for a day. My book is called Psychos, but I’m not!) As you’ll read in my book, I’ve discovered my spiritual side, and these little sayings are kind of my mantras—I think you’ll love them too.
If you do love Psychos, I hope you’ll buy it and tweet about it and keep a copy on your nightstand and give one to all your relatives. And if you hate my book, I hope you at least secretly love it. And if you don’t secretly love it, I hope you at least tell me that you’re obsessed with it, because we’re friends now, right?
Thanks, I guess.
Love you. Mean it.