Author Susan Patton, known as the “Princeton Mom,” dishes on what to do when you graduate with a degree, but no wedding ring to show for it. Check out her thoughts below and be sure to pick up a copy of her book, Marry Smart, now available!
Don’t panic. It comes across as desperate and that won’t help you. Of course, campus was an ideal place to find age appropriate, single, men of your comparable intellect. But, if while you were a student your focus was elsewhere, or you looked but just didn’t find him; here are some strategies for now finding THE ONE.
1. Remain connected to your school through the alumni associations. Every school has one and some are extraordinarily robust social organizations. Again, you share commonalities with people who went to the same school as you. These are often vibrant alumni groups that host fantastic events all over the country. Get involved! You’ll probably enjoy the events and you never know whom you’ll meet.
2. Continuing education is a great way for grown-ups to meet new people in a wholesome, organic environment. You don’t have to pursue an advanced degree (but maybe that’s not a bad idea), but take a course in something that interests you. Ideally, pick something that is interactive and requires more than just listening to a lecture. Pottery, cooking, woodworking classes allow for plenty of interaction among participants during workshop sessions. And you’ll learn new skills and maybe even create something that you can be proud of.
3. Go to synagogue, or church, or mosque or whatever is your house of worship. Get to know the cleric and let him or her know that you would like to meet other single members of the congregation. It is the one of the cleric’s jobs to connect congregants with each other. You know that you have a lot in common with people who literally and figuratively sing out of the same hymnal as you do.
4. Tell everyone you know and trust that you would be receptive to, and appreciative of an introduction to any single men they know that may be appropriate for you. Your friends may be reluctant to do this without your telling them that you would like them to do so. They may not want to seem intrusive or presumptuous, you have to let them know that it’s okay. More than okay – – you’d consider it a favor.
If you are past your student years and searching for the love of your life, I would not recommend your looking for him at work. Fishing off the company pier is fraught with problems – – especially for women. If the affair ends (it usually ends), it could endanger your professional standing, and many companies actually prohibit fraternization among co-workers.
Online dating? Ugh. Although there are success stories, it is a hugely undignified way to meet a man, and dating sites are filled with married men trolling for desperate women. That’s not you. Be smarter for yourself!
Use your accumulated wisdom, and engage fully in groups and activities that you are naturally connected to. What are you waiting for? You know… you’re not getting any younger!