XOXO After Dark is delighted to be participating in Larissa Ione’s exciting reveal of her new novel, BOUND BY NIGHT. We’re the first stop on her Book Bites tour–each day, a different site will feature new exclusive content by Larissa. Visit them all to get every last bit of news and fun! See the map below to find out where Larissa will be tomorrow, and all week.
A MoonBound/Demonica Mashup…Let the Games Begin!
Raise your hands if you love game shows!
Today, for your viewing pleasure, the producers of Survivor: Sheoul, bring you four of their favorite people, fresh from two different dimensions. So grab a glass of marrow wine and hold onto your hats. It’s time for…
(There is much studio applause and Kermit the Frog flailing)
I’m your host, Azagoth, also known as the Grim Reaper. You can grovel at my feet after the show. In the meantime, be impressed by my game-show -announcer voice.
And now, let’s meet our contestants and get this over with so I can go home.
(Curtain goes up, revealing a stage that looks an awful lot like someone stole everything from the Family Feud set. They even stole the theme music.)
Representing the red team are Reaver, a father of four who can’t follow rules, and Harvester, a sharp-tongued wench who, for reasons of her own, gave up everything to watch over a bunch of legendary brats who thought I was their father. As if.
Next up, for the blue team, we have Riker, a bitter widower who enjoys fine beer, archery, and killing humans for revenge. Standing beside him is Nicole, a wealthy, origami-loving female with a vampire phobia and no social life.
(There’s a chorus of grumbling and a few insults, which Azagoth ignores as he glances at his watch.)
If you’re done telling me to go back to hell, let’s go over the rules.
Each member of each team is a different species. Neither team knows anyone on the opposite team, and therefore, they don’t know each others’ species. Apparently, that’s why this stupid game show is called Guess That Species.
Each contestant takes turns asking a contestant on the opposite team one question. After the question is answered, the questioner can make a guess about the other contestant’s species. If the guess is right, the opponent is eliminated. If the guess is wrong, play passes to the other team.
Once a question is asked, that question is out of play and can’t be asked again by anyone.
On a side note, answers must be truthful. If our hidden panel of psychics senses a contestant lying, their head will explode.
Are we ready? Blue team, you start. Riker?
Harvester: Why do they get to go first?
Azagoth: Because it’s their release party. Your book doesn’t come out until December. Deal with it.
Harvester presents a middle-finger salute.
Riker: My question is for either Reaver or Harvester. What the hell is up with your names? You do know they mean pretty much the same thing, right? Are you trying to mess with us, or are you being obnoxiously cute?
Reaver: You really wanna go there, Riker? Why don’t you have a chat with Larissa, who is too obsessed with Star Trek for her own good.
Azagoth: Play nice, boys. Well, Riker? What species is Reaver?
Azagoth: Wrong. Red team, you’re up.
Reaver: *scowls at Riker* Do you change into anything furry that licks its ass on the nights of the full moon?
Riker: Funny. And no.
Reaver: I’m going to guess that my buddy Riker is a dick.
Azagoth” *sighs* Probably, but that’s not a species. Nicole, your turn.
Nicole: My question is for Harvester. Harvester, where do you live?
Nicole: Is she a demon?
Azagoth: That’s like asking if she’s a mammal. Be more specific.
Nicole: *huffs* Like I know any demons. Oh, wait…how about succubus?
Harvester: *growls* If you ever call me a succubus again, I’ll rip your lungs out.
Nicole: How charming.
Azagoth: (calls off stage: is it time to go yet? No? Shit.) *turns back to the contestants* Nicole’s guess was wrong, so Harvester, your turn.
Harvester: How old are you, Nicole?
Nicole: I’m twenty-eight.
Harvester: *smug* You’re human. Now go away.
Nicole is taken off stage, and Azagoth gestures for Riker to go next.
Riker: *looks Harvester up and down and is obviously amused when Reaver stiffens* Where were you born?
Azagoth: Answer or get out a bottle of aspirin, ’cause you’re going to need it.
Harvester: *grits teeth* I was born in Heaven.
Riker: Heaven, huh? And now you live in hell? I’m gonna go with…fallen angel?
Harvester is led off stage, snarling and cursing.
Azagoth: Excellent. I might make it home in time to destroy a few souls by dinner. Reaver, your turn.
Reaver: Very few species have silver eyes…which means Riker is probably some type of demon. So my question for Riker is; Do you feed on humans?
Riker: All the damned time.
Reaver: *narrows eyes* Are you a shapeshifter?
Riker: No. Do you have fangs?
Riker: Are you a wendigo?
Reaver: No. Can you travel via teleportation?
Riker: I wish.
Reaver: Are you a dream-eater demon?
Riker: Those exist? And hell, no. Do you have wings?
Reaver: Yes, and they’re awesome.
Riker: *looks at the empty space where Harvester was* She was a fallen angel, and you have similar names, but you’re supposed to be different species. So I’m going to pull an angel out of my ass. Am I right? Are you an angel?
Reaver: *inclines his head* Well played. *smirks* For a vampire.
Riker: Wait…what? You knew?
Reaver: *shrugs* I’m an angel. I know everything. Just don’t expect me to be so magnanimous when it’s time for my book to release.
Riker: Bring it on, man. Bring it on.
Azagoth: Aaaaand…the blue team wins. I think. Really, I don’t give a flying (bleeped) who won. I’m outta here.
Name…That…Species!!!! is brought to you by Daedalus Corporation and Tempest Gaming Systems. Stay tuned to the Supernatural Network for a special Daedalus offer and a sneak peek at Tempest Gaming Systems’s newest blockbuster.