Category: Television

Bachelor Recap: This is the end, my friends

Ho, ho, ho! What? I’m not accusing anyone–I’m just quoting Santa, who made a guest appearance on the Bachelor finale last night! Guess he has a lot of time on…

Bachelor Recap: Nick Leaves Us Cold

You guys. YOU GUYS. Tonight’s Bachelor is three hours long! via GIPHY   I mean, seriously. via GIPHY   It’s like via GIPHY So you’re just getting bullet points unless something…

Bachelor Recap: From Past Slights to Northern Lights

Hello, Bachelorinas! The universe smiled down upon your exhausted recapper, still recovering from yesterday’s long night of Oscar-watching (and the better-than-Shyamalan twist ending!), and made tonight’s episode only an hour…

Bachelor Recap: Stressing over blessing

We’re back on the long slog of Bachelorizing, as Nick has sent Kristina packing. Rather than bothering to make everyone get all dressed up and stressed when they can already…

Bachelor Recap: Why Do I Even Bother?

Before we begin tonight’s what-we’ll-loosely-call-festivities, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: the internet has spoiled tonight’s episode, and perhaps the series, by revealing that Rachel will be the first…

Bachelor Recap: Night of the Long Thorns

It’s been suggested to me that perhaps this show doesn’t warrant a 10,000 word recap as though it were War and Peace. While I think that War and Lust-Mistaken-for-Love-after-Six-Weeks deserves some unpacking,…

Bachelor recap: A relationship built on whipped cream and lies

I’ve tried to start this recap three times already, but I’m exhausted from the week’s news, and then Bachelor opens with Taylor and Corinne bitching at each other endlessly, and…

Bachelor Recap: The Farmer’s Date from Hell

A nor’easter is storming up the coast and New York is cold, wet and wild, like a Bachelor contestant at a waterpark date the episode before hometown visits. So let’s…

The Bachelor Recap: Tell Me Why (Nick Did This 4 Times)

Hello, BachFans! I’m back to recap another step of our journey–our journey to watch one man repeatedly try to find love on television. What could possibly go wrong? We pick up…

The Bachelor Recap Takes Its Top Off

Hello, XOXO Nation! After a week of rest to survey the terrain, we’re back with recaps of The Bachelor, or as the original pilot was called, Regrettable Decisions Live. Buckle your seatbelts,…