Given the amazing response we got on our first post about hockey-player-hotness, we were reminded of two things: 1) people can tire of the in-your-face NFL football season quickly, and 2) hot guys being tough is, well, hot!
So we figured it’s time for a little more–which in hockey means an overtime shootout!
(For those unfamiliar with the sport, this is where the poor goalie has to go one-on-one with a member of the opposite team who skates at him really fast and tries to embarrass him by smacking a hard little puck into his net. In our opinion this is way more intense than a soccer shootout, where basically it’s like 50/50 if the goalie guesses the right way to jump, and no matter what the soccer ball has to be softer than a chunky black disc, no? He’s wearing a lot of layers, but c’mon!)
So in today’s shootout, it’s HOT HOTNESS OF HOCKEY HOTNESS against OTHER REALLY INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT HOCKEY.
HOT HOTNESS, you are up first.
And for their first shot on goal, HOT HOTNESS leads with pictures of Derek Sanderson—today’s yesterday’s hockey sex symbol.
At one point he looked dreamily like this:
And then because he liked to spin it like Burt Reynolds on skates:
Given our love of retro bad boys, we’re calling that a score! 1-0 for HOT HOTNESS!!
REALLY INTERESTING shoots next, and we get…
The CHECK, PLEASE webcomic! You can read about it here on Comics Alliance, but basically it’s a wonderful comic about this guy Bitty, who loves baking, hockey, Beyonce, and other men. For fans of hockey and non-hockey fans alike, it’s a fascinating read and one of the most unique things out there.
Score! Tied 1-1
HOT HOTNESS skates up and slapshots a serving of….
Sarina Bowen’s ROOKIE MOVE! She’s written several great romances, but none of them get this cover model’s nipples as hard as this ice-based smashfest.
ROOKIE MOVE scores, and scores, and scores! But since only one of them counts, we’ll call it 2-1 in favor of HOT HOTNESS.
Undeterred, REALLY INTERESTING shoots down the ice with…
Todd Smith’s HOCKEY STRONG. Do you want to read about athletes performing beyond their pain thresholds for the love of sport? Look no further. These are famous NHL players, talking to Todd about all sorts of things, injuries, brotherhood, and even anti-bullying efforts at local schools.
Amazing! Interesting! And…. score! All tied at 2-2.
HOT HOTNESS decides to dig deep for their next shot. And we get…
Brad Richards. Brad doesn’t need any introduction. He does need any hype. Brad scores. We know he scores, and, really, because REALLY INTERESTING is, well, no comparison to HOT HOTNESS, they kind of just let Brad take their next few shots on goal as well. They can’t help it. They’re only human, after all.
He scores and scores and scores….
And like that, HOLY HOT HOCKEY HOTNESS wins 143-2. Which is maybe how it should be.
We hope our roundup of clearly-all-the-important-hockey-things diverted you at least for a few plays from that other sport currently on your TV. #IsItOctoberYet ??
Rookie MoveSarina Bowen
Can Leo thaw the heart of his icy publicist--and ex-girlfriend--Georgia? We suggest starting by taking off his shirt!
Hockey StrongTodd Smith
Ice is cold. Hockey is hot. Hockey players are hotter. Especially when they're playing through the pain, like the dedicated athletes chronicled in this collection of amazing essays and photos!