The Re-Catch: “The Laragan Gambit”

by Gabra Zackman

Welcome to this week’s blog on #thecatch affectionately titled “The Re-Catch.”  I’ve spent much of the week in one kind of trauma or another.  My show closed last weekend, I’m nursing an injured foot, I was pushing a deadline on recording a book on Tibetan Meditation and one of my childhood icons suddenly died.  Yes, I, like you, found myself deeply and surprisingly affected by the death of Prince, who had an effect on me I hadn’t quite been aware of.  Listening to his songs brings back the mixtapes of my youth, the soundscape that should accompany my childhood dreams as well as the dark episodes of trauma that occurred at the hands of other kids on my elementary school playground.  But more than that… he was one of the true spiritual boundary pushers: a legend in opening the doors of fashion, sexuality, sensuality, and personal agency.  I have spent the last day thinking about what kind of doors he opened in my soul from such a young age, and how he was a visionary and a trailblazer beyond his own time.  #RIPPrince

And now to more entertaining and joyful matters… this week’s Re-Catch.

PROLOGUE

Christopher and Alice in separate bedrooms.  He’s trying to find his way to her.  She wants to see him too.  Sexy music over all.  And j’adore the fact that Alice sleeps in a sexy black nightie.  Time for me to lose the old sweatpants and yoga tank I sleep in.  #fashionemergency  And can we talk about her apartment?  Clearly, I should have gone into the “securities” business.

They arrange to meet. One condition. No Agent Dao.  But AHA!  #iheartagentdao is listening in on the bug he planted two episodes ago.

There’s a sweet montage of them picking clothes out for each other.  But their plan gets somewhat diverted on both sides.  Margot walks in and tells Christopher they’ve only got 6 hours left to get “Daddy” the money (you’ll recall that a hot chick Margot slept with named Felicity is the bounty hunter for “the Family” to whom our villains are beholden) and at AVI (Alice and Val’s firm) Val is tasking everyone to go the route of more transparency and account for all their payments. #buzzkill

They both get away.  But the plan is foiled by Christopher spotting Dao.  He calls Alice out, she says she didn’t know.  She gets Sophie to check if her phone’s been hacked.

THE NEW CASE

A longtime client, a local DA, appears to be having an affair. Her husband comes to them to see if they’ll investigate. Though a conflict of interest, they say they’ll think about it.

OUR FAVE CON ARTISTS

Shivani Ghai (Felicity)Meanwhile Margot checks out clients in the hotel restaurant and passes their room numbers to Christopher who robs them all blind.  They’re going to grab some funds and run before Felicity can #catch them.  They call this “the old dine and dash.”  Not bad for an afternoon’s work of petty thievery, I say.  But Felicity #catch (es) Christopher red handed. The bullet she put in her own safe is an awfully nice touch.

MEANWHILE…

Val has stolen the phone from Sophie and has figured out that Alice has been in contact with Ben.  She confronts her, and Alice tearfully admits that she and #iheartagentdao have been working together and that she didn’t tell Val because she knew Val wouldn’t approve. #troubleinparadise

At the same time Felicity has an offer for our con artists.  She’ll forgive this month’s payment to their “benefactor” if they’ll do a simple “snatch and grab”… a fancy looking necklace.  Margot’s not thrilled about it, Christopher leaps at the chance.

THE CLIENT

The ladies are meeting with Renee (the awesomely beautiful Erica Gimpel) about her political campaign but are trying to suss out the possible affair.  She lies to them. Danny has rigged something that tracks her phone GPS and he and Alice go to follow her, giving Alice the opportunity to blow off Val.

THE CON

The bracelet our villains are after is worth upwards of $12 million and is currently on the wrist of Carla Velasquez, prime minister of Larago, a Carribean republic.  If they get into a special dinner in a few days, they can nick it.  But they’ll need more help.  “She’ll have to help,” Christopher says, pointing at Felicity.  “But I’m a killer, not a thief,” she says anxiously.  “Well, nobody’s perfect,” Margot dryly responds.

OUR HEROES…

Are after Renee.  Danny confesses he’s also pissed at Alice but has forgiven her for going after Christopher without them. They spy an interaction between Renee and Tony Ellis, a man who seems to be intimidating her in some way: he’s the head of a company that sponsors and controls a ton of politicians.  But he hasn’t bought Renee.  So what does he have on her? They decide to vie for the job of being his new securities firm to find out.

THE BALL

Our villains are off to the party with fake identities.  A doctor, a member of the British royal family, a wealthy Californian.  I don’t know how they’re coming by these identities, but I think I need a new one. #secretidentities

THE EVIL EMPIRE

Tony Ellis (the lovely actor David Andrews – deeply sexy if you go for the silver foxes) is David Andrewssuch a nasty man!  He comes to meet Alice and Val but hasn’t fallen for the hack of his company—if anything he’s now on to them, and openly threatens them.  It’s very Dr. Evil in the best of ways.

But they’re one step ahead of him. They attach a “microdot” to his phone to track all his emails and phone calls.  Now they can see exactly what kind of havoc he’s wrought.

Later that night Alice is eating Chinese food and checking out Tony Ellis when #iheartagentdao arrives with a smile and a bottle of wine to apologize for blaming her for Christopher’s escape.  

They share a sexy and subtext-laden drink of wine.  While she’s with Dao, Christopher calls…he’s rehung the painting on the wall.  Again, cue horrible pun about how well it’s hung☺

Jacky Ido with WineChristopher has done a sweep of the house and found the bug.  He points it out to Alice on the phone while she pretends to be on the phone with Sophie.  When she’s off, Dao says he wishes “to resume their partnership.”  Oooh, yay! Looks like #iheartagentdao really is the bad guy! Alice plays him.  #thattagirl

THE NEXT DAY…

Alice brings Val apology coffee.  “But only because it’s too early for bourbon.” HAHAHAH #nevertooearlyforbourbon #blantons #basilhayden #kentuckyliving

They’re interrupted by a #newsflash from Danny and Sophie.  Tony Ellis is controlling Renee through info on her husband, William, and is forcing her to push his contracts through.  But turns out they can take Ellis down for blackmail…without exposing William. But she’s got to meet Ellis again.  Then Alice has everything she needs to meet with him herself.

Alice tells him about the microdot.  Threatens to expose him if he goes after Renee and William again.  He laughs and threatens to take her down.

Val’s now back in Alice’s good graces. She has a secret plan re the bug and Agent Dao.

Alice calls Christopher now looking FLY in his tux.  They have a sexy chat.  She guesses he’s going out on a job, and guesses a jewelry heist.  But they’re interrupted by Felicity and Margot looking sexy and rich in fancy dresses.

Cut to: Val and Alice use the bug to create a faux plan to throw Agent Dao off the scent. Meanwhile, Alice hunts down Christopher who is…

Walking into the fancy event with two hot broads on his arms.  Christopher, Margot and Felicity are dressed to the nines and ready for blood.  They spot the bracelet on the prime minister’s arm.  Simultaneously, Alice has tracked them to the Laragan consulate.

A HOT “BED TRICK”

Val is at the bar of a swanky restaurant.  Dao walks in, using their false intel.  She says she was there in place of Alice to meet a suspect who wound up cancelling on her.  It’s not a great lie, but it works.  They smile sensually at each other.  She says she stayed for the bourbon, he orders a fantastically sexy sounding French whiskey.  Marvelous.  Please let him speak French more.  Then call me cooked.

OUR VILLAINS

Are in… but find that every crime syndicate in town is also at the same party.  I love this—it’s an entirely goofy twist.  It reminds me of something I would write that’s funny in theory but bears no possibility whatsoever.

However—they’ve got the edge.  The two women tango together creating a massive diversion and passionately kiss on the dance floor, to the great applause of the guests.  Also great in theory but without possibility.  Particularly at a “consulate function.”  Christopher cases the other syndicates to find that everyone has found some way to sneak in a weapon.  It’s a veritable arsenal at Cinderella’s ball.

GRAND FINALE

They pull off the hoax. This ends with Christopher getting the bracelet and running out, followed by a hailstorm of bullets.  He rolls in front of a car…Alice’s. And she whisks him away.

Cut to: Agent Dao basically gets his ass handed to him by Val.  She threatens to deport him.  This is a deeply satisfying scene.  He clearly likes it too.

Back to Alice and Christopher.  She patches his flesh wound, he comes clean.  It’s time for it all to come out.  He tells her about Margot, and how he needs to leave asap to keep her safe.  She insists on hearing his real name.  They get into a quasi naked tussle and she finally headbutts him into it.

“My name,” he says, “is Ben.  Benjamin.  Benjamin Jones.”

“Benjamin Jones,” she smiles.  And we head into a wildly sexy sex scene with music overlaid on top.  It’s truly hot.  #hotasrocks

In the morning he’s not there.  But she’s taken the bracelet.

“Where is it,” he says, calling her cell, “I’m not playing games.”

“If you want your bracelet back,” she smiles, “you’re going to have to play by my rules from now on.”

We close with a close up of her “cat who swallowed the cream” grin. A rather delicious punchline. #catgotmouse

And that’s this week’s Re-Catch.

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