So sorry for the delayed recap but hopefully you’re catching up tonight before the new episode.  I’m eagerly awaiting Susan’s “death” in couples therapy.  Let’s get started with 21 thoughts I had while watching RHOC!

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1. Wait… is Susan’s tagline really “When life gives you lemons, put them in a bowl”?! Could she really think of nothing better?

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2. Gasp, Heather admitted that Collette (screaming baby) is her favorite!

3. YAAAASSSSS fake eulogies! At least she admits it’s not normal.

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4. Seriously David, nothing about being a good mother?

5. I love that David took the Mummy stance when he laid down for his eulogy. He was prepared and clearly put a lot of thought into it.

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6. Heather and Tamara… I just don’t care.

7.  Back to the couples counseling.  This marriage counselor is making things super serious.  Her whispered voice, her facial expressions, I’m loving all of it!

8. Just two years Susan, that’s all it takes to get over an affair! Listen to the mathematician counselor damnit!

9. I’m still trying to get my bearings on Meagan and Jim… He still seems crotchety.

10. They’ve only been married for four months and he’s already shooting her down left and right? Oye vey.

11.  Phewww, I thought he was going to ask them to vote whether or not he (David) and Susan (Shannon) should stay together!

12. Their oldest daughter is wise beyond her years.

13.  “I need a drink” – Eddie… you and me both.

14. O00O0O Eddie’s calling bullshit on Brooks, I feel like he speaks for all of us on this show.  Eddie = The people’s voice!

15. Oh sad, Lizzie is just a friend this year.  I mean she didn’t make waves so I get why she isn’t on but I still liked her.

16. So. Much. Awkwardness! Shade is thrown left and right at this fiesta!

17.  Damnnnnn Jeana, looking good!

18. I’m getting bored by this interaction with Susan/David/Meagan/Crotchety.

19. Of courseeeee there’s a piñata. Sigh.

20.  Way to go Meagan, you killed the Piñata and robbed Susan her chance at releasing her anger on the poor donkey.

21. I’m waiting for Tamara to say “Do you want to sleep over?” at the end of her speech.

I’m so confused by the next episode’s preview, that I’ll leave it to you to figure out.

What would be your Real Housewives tagline? Leave it in the comments section!