Alexandra Jamieson, holistic health counselor and co-star of award-winning documentary Super Size Me, explores women’s cravings—for food, sleep, sex, movement, companionship, inspiration—and teaches them to listen to their bodies for a healthier, fuller life in Women, Food, and Desire.
Read on for an excerpt from the book, plus a sexy sweepstakes to fulfill your desires!
When I first met Bob [my current partner], I was struck by how open and frank he was. He told me, right off the bat, that before he moved to New York, he had been living in a community that was all about healthy, open sex. My brain heard “sex cult!” but instead of running, I listened. He told me that he liked to play in the BDSM world (erotic practices that include bondage, dominance, role-playing—a whole host of yummy, fun, and titillating things). He looked me straight in the eye as he told me this, and let me tell you . . . it was hot! I wanted to end our date and rush home with him immediately. He did invite me over, showed me a couple of neat rope tricks—and I nearly lost my mind with desire. But he wouldn’t sleep with me. Not yet. He wanted us to get to know one another, to really talk about what we wanted from a sexual partner, with sex, with our own bodies.
Where had this man come from?
I had never, in all my life, had such a deep, meaningful, and frank conversation with someone about sex. With Bob, I dipped my toe into the world of BDSM, made famous by the wildly bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey books. At first, I was nervous. Stepping into parties where the guests were tying each other up in rope corsets, or acting out predetermined scenes, à la Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, frightened and excited me. Once I started talking to people, though, I realized that I could feel safe. These were actually sweet, honest people interested in creating fantasies around sex that would allow consenting adults to take their pleasure to the edge, without the risk of falling off the cliff. The people I have encountered in this world tend to be mature and clear about their sexual desires, and I find this to be incredibly hot and fulfilling. It’s a world that’s built around open communication, safety, clear and respected boundaries, and deep trust—all the qualities that are the main ingredients of true intimacy for me. Encounters in these worlds require constant communication between partners and constantly checking in with yourself to ask: What are your desires? Concerns? Boundaries? These are similar questions we need to ask ourselves on a daily basis when we sit down to eat.
I’ve entered a phase in my life where I feel empowered sexually and I’m in a relationship with a man who loves and deeply respects me—plus, he knows his way around a knot or two. I feel incredibly blessed. And I’ve learned that when I feel safe, in my body and in the presence of my trustworthy partner, I can actually relax and surrender to pleasure. Now, with hindsight, I can honestly say that I am grateful for the beautiful, revelatory, transformative experiences that being rejected provided me. I finally feel like I’m becoming the sexually satisfied woman I was always meant to be.
Why Sex Is So Crazy Good for You
When we trust our bodies and we engage in hot, mind-blowing sex, the benefits to our health are many. Having an active sex life helps you reach a healthy weight. Yes: having sex burns some calories, but more than that, it nourishes you both physiologically and emotionally in ways that naturally regulate and curb your appetite, while ramping up your metabolism and balancing your hormones. Sex replaces emotional eating with what you were likely truly craving: physical contact, comfort, connection. Sex also sharpens our senses and smooths out the rough edges of our moods by flooding us with happy, feel-good endorphins. It keeps us flexible, hones our muscles, and keeps our thyroid healthy. It’s good for the heart and our circulation (ever notice how having great sex gives you great complexion?). And that’s not all. It’s good for our oral health (all that kissing keeps our saliva flowing, which prevents tooth decay and boosts digestion), and it reduces pain and inflammation. It strengthens our immune system and helps us sleep better. Some researchers say it even fights cancer in men (studies show that men who ejaculate are often less prone to getting prostate cancer later in life). Having a healthy sex life is a cornerstone of having overall good health and I advise all of my clients, whether they’re partnered up or not, to find their groove and get it on.
The Metabolic Benefits of Orgasms
When you climax, your body is flooded with beneficial hormones and your metabolic systems are enlivened and invigorated in incredible ways. Orgasms don’t just blow your mind, they are packed with health benefits. Here are just a few: Having regular orgasms (at least once a week) helps your body grow healthy tissue, absorb nutrients, and balances your hormones. Women who have sex regularly report having more regular, less disruptive periods. Orgasms also boost fertility.
All sorts of beneficial hormones, including DHEA (which improves brain function, immune system responsiveness, and cellular growth and repair), estrogen, and oxytocin (a natural pain reliever and muscle relaxant), are released when you climax, and this is in part what gives you that healthy, post-lovemaking glow. Orgasms also stimulate the hypothalamus gland, which releases hormones that calm appetite, regulate body temperature, and keep all of your reproductive juices flowing and balanced. They massage the lymphatic system, too, which helps with the elimination of toxins and waste. There is no downside to feeling this good.
Persuaded yet? As if you needed more persuasion to do the dirty deed…
Indulge in your desires and improve your life with our prize pack! Tell us in a comment below what you think the sexiest food is to enter for your chance to win a copy of Women, Food, and Desire by Alexandra Jamieson, hot chocolate packets to share with a loved one, and a $50 gift card to Babeland to spice up your sex life.
Contest begins at 9:00 a.m. on January 12th and ends at 9:00 a.m. on January 19th. Sorry, contest open to U.S. residents only. Please click here for complete contest rules.